I don't know if I ever told this story to anyone but, I am at a point that I can reflect on my first real kiss without looking back at it in pain.
I was about 12 – 13 years old when I went to visit my relatives in my father's home town of Mulgrave.
I was a strange fellow, still am. Never did quite grow out of that. I don't think I ever will. At least I hope I don't.
I liked girls but I think I was too nervous and I think odd, so much so, that the girls in school never took much notice of me.
When I went to Mulgrave, I met a girl that seemed to like me for me. She had beautiful auburn hair and pale skin that I can see in my mind's eye even to this day.
We were just kids and I had played kissing games a little before, but this was different. Scarlet wanted to kiss me because she liked me. We were in a grove off of a path, my cousin was there and a couple of other people.
We kissed. It was the innocent, precious kiss of two kids that were becoming young adults. Nothing like the rutting of teenagers or young people exploring their sensuality or sexuality, it was sweet.
I was down the next summer, but didn't see her. Our paths didn't cross.
The next summer, my cousin came to stay in Miramichi for a couple of weeks. I was still sweet on this young lady and I asked about her.
In kind of an offhand, matter of fact way, my cousin told me that she had killed herself. She was probably 14 at the time.
According to my cousin, her parents were religious and didn't want her to go to dances or out with a crowd that included boys and wanted her to attend a particular church weekend with the family.
She didn't want to go and stayed home. When her parents returned home that weekend, she had taken her life. Why, I don't know and I won't ever know.
Some things are just above my pay grade.
What I do know is that, I would have loved to have seen her radiant face and hair one more time. Maybe even stolen another kiss? Time, space, distance and circumstances didn't allow that.
She was a pretty young lady and would have grown into a beautiful woman. That didn't happen but I know she is somewhere in the peace, love and thought of the Universe.
Dance with the Great Spirit Scarlet,
From now on, Scarlet, I'll look back with only fondness; when you dance with the Great Spirit and all my friends, say hello for me. They are all as nice as you.
